Original Essence Thoughts
It has been a week of giant role reversal.
In the recent phase of my life I had begun to notice those who are narcissists and addicts. Particularly narcissists. I began studying the energy of narcissists and gingerly clearing them from my life. As I learned the concept of energy vampirism, those that "steal and drain our energy like life sucking vampires", I took renewed efforts to clean the energy vampires out of my life too. I took responsibility for my own victim/vampire energy and blaming energy and cleared my half of the dance.
And then came this week. You know what they say. If you want to figure out what you need to work on next, take a quick inventory of what you most dislike/find outrageous about the people in your life: you’re looking in the mirror.
I attend the monthly professional skills seminar taught by Michael McCartney at the Academy of Intuition Medicine® where I got my Masters Certification in Intuition Medicine®. This month our professional skills seminar was on the topic Original Essence Energy, or OEE. Michael defines OEE as "your spiritual energy/light, imprinted into every cell that you create". It is our most powerful, beautiful essence and healing energy, who we truly are. Michael says: "When your OEE lights the way, your choices are informed with wisdom and present time information. When your spiritual being and physical body are connected to the earth, all things are possible. Living a spiritual life is accepting the guidance of what your spirit intends and following the light along your path". So this is really the core of what we are all about, our prime directive if you will. And by extension, a place of total harmony and peace. Essentially, connecting to OEE will clear all of the cobwebs out of the way and powerfully so.
If you can follow me further, Michael previews the class for the week leading up to the class. Each night he sends out steps of preparation for dealing with the topic, and we all naturally “entrain”, like a flock of birds, or “tune in” to the same frequency and do the work in a remote fashion.
One of the questions Michael asked us to contemplate was: what is blocking me from experiencing my original essence energy? Well apparently, the answer that wafted in for me on this cold rainy January, is that my OEE gets blocked from “family scripts” ie. family patterns of energy, of narcissism and addiction. Whether I am exhibiting those energies, in reaction to attempting to not exhibit those energies, or working out past lifetimes of inhabiting those energies, they are strangling and inhibiting my ability to be totally myself. It is a complex issue.
I want to find a doctor and rush into their office breathless: “Doc, how am I? how bad is it? How long will I live?” Then I realize: I am the doctor and this will be a life long process. My theory is that we all come into this world to get a PhD in…ourselves. I am getting a PhD in Elizabeth. And my soul put the lessons and growth there that I needed to decode in order to grow and evolve. This is Earth School and we are all in the PhD program, a concept I learned in the book "Loyalty to Your Soul" by Ron and Mary Hulnick.
So the first lesson here I can see already as I tune in to my innate experience of this energy is learning how to give myself positive attention. Positive attention as integration and healing attention, which is different from the “see me, see me, see me” shriek of the narcissist, who in essence needs the same positive attention but is unable to give it to themselves. In some perverse and cruel irony, the narcissist has been trained to not focus on themselves lest they be selfish, thereby forcing THE REST OF THE WORLD to do so. On the inside, this person walks around starving and in self-denial.
So I will have compassion and positive attention for myself, further claiming my original essence, which is of course compassion and love.
I am always reminded of the Oscar Wilde quote:
“Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future”.
There is always a future waiting for us and we populate it with our choices. Choosing compassion allows the unfolding of our original essence as we do the work, layer after layer after layer.